The child loves the nanny more than the mother

For women, the role of mother and wife is not enough, and this is quite natural. Leaving the house even for a few hours maintains a healthy attitude to life, however, distraction from urgent matters is impossible without the help of relatives or, for example, a nanny. Especially in the case when mommy spends 8 hours in a row at work.

Even the famous writer Alexander Pushkin had a nanny and, by the way, did an excellent job with her duties. The child will be very lucky if the second Arina Rodionovna is nearby. And everything would be fine if not for the fact that it sometimes becomes preferable.

A child loves a nanny more than a mother – an eternal problem

The reason for this phenomenon has long been known. Psychologists emphasize that the child chooses the person who spends the longest time with him. This person creates the necessary sense of security, so experts recommend not trusting the baby to anyone, at least the first three months after birth.

Unfortunately, not everyone can afford it, in some cases, a young mother goes to work almost immediately after giving birth and the nanny stays with the child until he reaches the age to send him to kindergarten or school.

Until the baby has reached five or seven years old, a real problem arises – the ward identifies himself with a stranger – he repeats habits, movements, manner of reasoning and even pronouncing words.

The child cries when the one who spends the whole day with him leaves. There is jealousy and thoughts – “why did the nanny suddenly become better than me?” “. This is a normal reaction. But how to get rid of this feeling?

Advantages and disadvantages of attachment

Are there any positive aspects of the fact that a child loves a nanny more than a mother? Human nature is such that we would like to have everything at once: the opportunity for professional growth and the opportunity to develop a child in accordance with our own beliefs on our own.

However, when you go to work, you gradually get used to the idea that someone else has been educating all this time. Here the advantages are obvious – the child is under professional supervision and he is happy.

It seems to be better than if the baby was naughty at the work of his parents, clinging to the door handle in tears, so that they could take a walk with him. No requests and persuasions will help here, it is very difficult for a small child to sit still.

The disadvantage of close attachment is that the child does not share roles. In fact, the baby is confused and does not understand why dear people are constantly going somewhere. It is difficult for a baby to accept loved ones and understand that the one who walks with him on the playground for the family is a stranger.

Another disadvantage is related to the reaction of parents. Jealousy is the main reason why relationships deteriorate in all areas of life. Now it is important to understand that the baby is just fine, while paying attention to who exactly is the parent.

Give up the idea that the nanny copes worse, this is possible only at the beginning of the acquaintance, in a week, she will know all the ways to tame the little whim, taste preferences and favorite games.

The child loves the nanny – what to do?

Some believe that the problem arose due to the behavior of the nanny. It is she who is to blame for the fact that the child “refuses” his own parents. Trust me, most of the time it’s not. However, it will not be superfluous to watch her actions.

A wise governess helps the child understand that she cannot replace relatives and explains the reason why mom and dad are absent during working hours. If the nanny is firmly convinced that parents are doing the wrong thing by trusting her child, this leads to real problems in the relationship between the baby and loved ones. Conviction will certainly be transferred to the ward, after which it will be extremely difficult to change his mind.

In this case, seriously think about whether you need such an assistant, no matter how responsible she is. When competition is not related to this situation, in order to establish contact with the child, it is enough to pay attention and preferably, to do this all your free time.

For example, sing songs while cleaning, do a massage and read interesting books before going to bed, and play fun, outdoor games during a walk on a day off. In addition, talk to your assistant, she will definitely understand the situation and help fix it.

If a child loves a nanny more than a mother, this is not a difficult problem. Try to make sure that the child, being next to you, receives more positive emotions than with a governess, then he will love you more and understand the difference. But do not overdo it, otherwise the baby will throw real tantrums while staying with the nanny.