Fantasy reaches its peak of development around the age of seven, which favorably affects the imagination. Lying is more often practiced at an older age in order to achieve certain advantages. An appropriate response from the parent will help prevent the unwanted behavior from happening again.
Is the child lying? Lies and fantasy
People do not like those who tell lies, because insincerity is untrustworthy. When a parent notices false words, he is rightly disturbed. And here the question arises – is it imagination, a game, or a tendency to tell a lie? Until a certain age (up to about 6 years), the baby is not able to distinguish fiction from reality. He tells ordinary stories for him, while for an adult, they seem incredible. This does not mean that the child is lying. In the first years of his life, he has a rather narrow view of the world and fantasizing for a crumb, quite naturally. In addition, this phenomenon is a sign of proper mental and psychic development.
The cause for concern is the situation when fictional events are told by a schoolboy. Unfortunately, this is already a deliberate behavior, since seven-year-olds know how real life works. Schoolchildren also realize that people can be manipulated in this way and begin to actively test artistic abilities. In this case, the cause must be found.
Why is the child lying
The factors leading to the desire to tell a lie are varied. Most often it is:
- the desire to avoid punishment, to shift the blame to another
- earn praise or please a parent
- lying is encouraged – sometimes, a child grows up in an environment where lying is the norm. For example, adults are asked to lie “say that I’m not at home / I’m sick”
- does not know that this is not possible – again, the reason lies in the family, where adults often resort to such manipulations
- lack of attention – the child lies if he feels that the guardians do not devote time to him, are not interested in success
- lack of emotions – imagination, allows you to find yourself in unknown distances, experience positive or negative moments
- aims to stand out in the crowd – a great way to draw attention to yourself when brothers, sisters, classmates are more attractive
- low self-esteem – a reason to become better in invented stories
- excessive control – the student is forced to lie when he goes for a walk in a forbidden place (choose free time and go there together)
- desire to hide something – does not want to give real reasons for bad behavior or action, as he is ashamed.
The most dangerous reason is isolation from society. The child really does not understand that this world is not what he imagines. As a rule, this happens in dysfunctional families. In adolescence, it is not uncommon to occasionally lie about doing homework, chores, or brushing your teeth. The best response in this situation is an expression of dissatisfaction. But if lying becomes too common, the child may need professional help. Restless, nervous, or those who have no control over their lives have a greater tendency to lie. Lying can also be a signal that a child is under constant stress. If a student pretends to be sick, this is a completely different topic, more about this here .
What to do if the child is lying
First of all, you need to consider how often deception is used in your family, since children always imitate the behavior of close relatives. Ask yourself if there were situations when the child received serious punishment for a misconduct, which he honestly admitted, perhaps he is simply afraid of repetition. When correcting behavior, be patient, the fear that pushes you to lie does not disappear immediately. Bring to consciousness that it is not he himself who causes irritation, but a perfect deed or an attempt to tell a lie. As you listen to the story, draw your child’s attention to the fictional moments. Make a gentle remark that this does not happen in life. In this way, you will protect against the habit of lying, as well as being guided by unrealistic images that will help protect against risks to health or life. Make it clear that you can check if he is telling the truth. When you are sure
How to wean a child to lie if he blames adults? First, make sure it’s false. Most likely, a kindergarten teacher or a teacher really has a negative impact, which is carefully hidden. Another option is sensitivity, the baby is offended by seemingly innocent things. Try to help the child during the games, where different circumstances and the right emotional responses will be shown.
Give examples where untruth destroys authority and relationships. Let me experience the consequences of lying first hand.
Teach to act according to conscience – encourage honesty, the desire to express a personal opinion. At the same time, pay attention to the student that in some cases, statements aloud must be smoothed out (but not lie!), So as not to hurt someone, for example, in a situation where he does not like the hairstyle, and she is asked to evaluate, you can say ” cool hairstyle, but if you fix it here and open your face a little, it will be even better. In addition, the child must understand that opinions may differ and each of them deserves respect.
Adequate adult response is a key element in building relationships based on truth. Interest in the child, his problems, the creation of a prosperous atmosphere will help to avoid or reduce situations in which the child is deceiving.