Usually children tend to explore the world, learn something new and the people around them in a natural way. But it also happens that a child does not get along well with peers, and almost no one wants to be friends with him. What should parents do in this case? The advice of psychologists is to observe, look for the cause and correct it.
Violation of the child’s socialization among peers – how to identify problems
Sometimes a child prefers to be only close to his parents, refusing new acquaintances and old friends, which causes anxiety and requires attention. The desire for loneliness can speak of the child’s inner experiences for various reasons – problems in the family, low self-esteem, communication difficulties, nervous and mental disorders. How to distinguish an acceptable norm from a violation? First of all, you need to start with observation.
On the playground, the baby can be very active, but at the same time, does not come into contact with other children. In kindergarten or school, a child with socialization problems becomes more difficult. He does not have the opportunity to step aside, and caregivers or teachers try to captivate him by playing with other children, which leads to increased stress.
The violation of socialization during festive events is clearly visible – how the child behaves at these moments – whether the poem can tell how he did it at home, whether he participates in games or prefers to stand next to mom and dad, immediately says a lot.
Also, the baby may complain that he has no one to play with, no one wants to be friends, everyone laughs at him. However, we note right away that shy, timid children often do not talk about these problems.
A child with a pathological imbalance never talks about his peers, friends, he prefers quiet games in his room without the presence of friends. School and kindergarten turn out to be completely undesirable places to spend time, fictitious reasons constantly arise that allow them not to attend, and if he spends all weekdays there, then the nervous one returns.
Of course, these signs do not always indicate pathology – it may happen that the child is very closed by nature or, on the contrary, is ahead of others in development, which is why he is not interested in the weather. If parents have noticed a number of warning signs of problems with socialization, action should be taken as soon as possible before the problem becomes global.
The child does not want to be friends with anyone – reasons
If a child is embarrassed by physical disabilities, then it is quite normal that he avoids communicating with children. It also happens that peers offend the child because of excessive fullness, negligence, not very fashionable clothes or hairstyles, so he avoids contact for fear of being ridiculed.
Another reason is ridicule by parents or older brothers and sisters, as a result, the child simply does not know how to behave, so as not to provoke the anger of the elders once again, not to hear the next offensive words.
A child who lacks attention feels lonely, this is especially often observed when a newborn has appeared in the family and all attention is focused exclusively on the younger, while the older one feels unnecessary, “inconvenient” for parents.
He experiences similar feelings with congenital or acquired shyness. Then the baby needs help, because he simply does not know how to make friends, and is even afraid of communication.
A child who is always aggressive and noisy also suffers from loneliness, because he always strives to be the first, better than others. If the children’s team does not accept this, he will refuse to be friends with those who, in his opinion, are simply not worthy of attention.
The situation is completely different with children who do not go to kindergarten, being under the supervision of their grandmother. Well-groomed and caressed, receives maximum attention and does not need more. In addition, spending most of the time at home, the child is not interested in communication, and at school, he has problems with adaptation.
What to do if the child is not friends with anyone? Solution
If a child is an outsider in the children’s team due to insufficiently fashionable clothes or the absence of an expensive smartphone, do not settle for extremes such as ignoring or purchasing an expensive item. Talk to your child, find out what phone to buy from him, whether it is possible to somehow save money on its purchase. Thus, he will feel more confident because his opinion is being asked.
When a child is not accepted by the children’s society due to being overweight or thin, the solution to this problem may be in sports. It’s good if he goes to a sports school with one of his classmates, a friend from the playground or kindergarten – it’s always more fun to achieve successful results with a like-minded person.
Parents must understand and convey to the pupil the thoughts, for what reason, the qualities of character do not want to be friends with him. Here the main task of adults is to help the child overcome difficulties in communication, support intentions to improve, in special cases, consultation with an experienced psychologist may be required.
Each initiative of a closed and indecisive child should be encouraged with a kind word and a manifestation of parental pride. You can’t talk badly about the children with whom he most often plays or communicates – this can stop all his further initiative.
For better adaptation, it is necessary to teach the child to respect others, say “no”, manage their emotions and adhere to the correct form of behavior in various situations. As already mentioned, in case of serious violations, it is better to contact a psychologist who will find the real reason and be sure to correct it.