The child and the fear of failure: causes, ways to overcome

Fear can make a child insecure in any situation, which means that his development can stop. While some children are risk-averse, others are afraid to take a step forward.

Both situations give parents a lot of anxiety, but today we will talk about the fear of failure, find the reasons and try to help overcome them.

How to recognize a child’s fear of failure?

A little stress from time to time is normal, we all tend to be afraid of something. If your child shows anxiety often, he may consciously deprive himself of achieving goals, because he anticipates failure in advance.

Often fear manifests itself in the form of physical symptoms, such as abdominal pain and even an increase in body temperature.

As a rule, they arise before a responsible event – a test or a performance in front of an audience, which of course fetters and leads to an unsuccessful outcome. Fear of failure comes in three forms:

  1. Cognitive Fear of Failure: Afraid of making mistakes. For example, your child is a perfectionist and does not want to disappoint adults, he always tries to live up to expectations.
  2. Social fear of failure: the child is afraid of being rejected by others. He feels uncomfortable in company and prefers to be invisible.
  3. Motor fear of failure: Refuses to perform activities properly because he is stressed when he gets the lead in the gym or has to write neatly.

In a small percentage of children, fear is inherited, until it is known exactly whether it is related to the genes or the environment in which the child grows up. Psychologists point to copying the behavior of adults.

Also, the reason often becomes dissimilarity to others, when there is a violation of speech or a physical defect in appearance. In this case, it is recommended to visit specialists regularly to improve the situation.

In addition, the reaction of parents to their or their child’s failure plays an important role, the more negative, the less purposeful he becomes.

Also Read: Positive Thinking

How to help your child overcome fear

If your child suffers from the fear of failure, remember the tips below.

  1. Do not compare your child to others, such as his sister, who always performs her duties so well. This will make him insecure.
  2. Say more positive and as little criticism as possible. Explain why the child did something wrong without judging the child’s personality.
  3. Are you a perfectionist? Show your character less. Children often copy the behavior of their parents.
  4. Prove that making mistakes is not a problem. You can learn from your mistakes, because without them, you won’t get the experience you deserve.
  5. Perhaps you need to adjust your thoughts a little, no child can ever justify all the wishes of a parent. Don’t expect too much.
  6. Learn to do relaxation exercises to help deal with rising panic.
  7. Help your child to prepare well for an important event, but not for long and with breaks for rest.
  8. Learn to get rid of negative thoughts like “I won’t succeed.” Such self-hypnosis will be the main obstacle to success.

Increase self-confidence by showing respect for the opinion of the child, highlighting past and present merits. If the child continues to suffer from the fear of failure, visit a psychologist. The specialist will find the real reason and help to cope with it with the help of an individual approach.