The development of the child is accompanied not only by a sweet smile and funny situations. Stubbornness and tears are another important part of character.
Parents often think that when they turn three, parenting will be easier. An older kid understands more, follows the rules and is familiar with reward and punishment. In other words, he is well prepared for life. But as soon as the age of two or three comes, hopes are exaggerated. The baby bites, fights, throws tantrums. How to respond to such behavior?
Dealing with difficult emotions
1. Accept emotions. The most difficult emotions are sadness, anger and irritation. They can be caused by anything – they didn’t get a toy, they feel pain, they didn’t let them into the puddle after the goslings. To quickly reassure, do not say that everything has passed and the wound does not hurt. Such words make you feel misunderstood and humiliated.
2. Learning to understand feelings. Say aloud what the child is going through, for example, “I know that you feel sorry for the sparrow”, “you are disappointed, I know this”, or “you are angry with me, I understand you”. In this way, you help to understand emotions and, importantly, to control them. Also, you report that he is not the only one struggling with similar feelings.
3. Move your attention. The child did not receive the desired lollipop and threw a tantrum? Instead of another conversation about the dangers of sugar, try to calm the crumbs by distracting them to another object, for example, a dog walking by. Sometimes, babies get naughty and demand sweets simply because they are bored.
4. Learn to express anger. Explain that when he yells at you, it upsets and hurts. Explain that irritation can be expressed in another way – hitting a ball, hitting a pillow, or singing loudly. Be patient, the ability to control anger takes a long time to learn.
5. Allow yourself to be independent. Children hardly agree with such injustice as a ban on independent actions. At the slightest opportunity, let the skills show. Do not criticize, you can put uncertainty and guilt into the child’s soul.
6. Good example. Even if you feel angry, do not allow yourself to scream, twitch the capricious, or hit. All this is a bad example to follow and a reason to start hysterics again.
Reduce the frequency of children’s tantrums
1. Learn to let go of the situation at the very beginning. A few sips of water or physical activity will help overcome anger, and the excitement in connection with the purchased toy is a joint account of the acquired ones.
2. Change roles. Let the child become a mother, and you a demanding child. Such fun allows you to look at yourself from the side and understand another person.
3. Watch. Tiredness, drowsiness, hunger or thirst are the most common causes of a child’s tantrum, don’t let these unwanted feelings get in the way of your comfort.
How to prevent a tantrum in a child
1. Proper nutrition and outdoor walks . Physical activity and a nutritious breakfast will protect your baby and you from irritability. Proper blood sugar levels and oxygen supply are the basis of health and good mood.
2. Theatrical performances. Psychologists say that the participation of children in theatrical productions helps them understand the feelings of other people. The game makes you try on shyness, rudeness or pity, forming empathy and social skills.
3 . Cook together. Any housewife will attest that mixing a sauce or mixing a dough is relaxing and wonderfully peaceful. If you have to cook delicious treats, take your child with you to calm or prevent moodiness.
4. Draw! Place a blank sheet of paper and some pencils in front of the child. Ask them to draw their experiences, sit next to them and do the same. Tell each other about the drawings.
5. Set standards and follow them. Explain why the rules should be followed and what the violation will lead to.
6. Praise good behavior. If you notice that during the tantrum, the child refrained from bad words or hitting, do not pretend not to notice. Praise the baby – “I saw that you were angry, but you restrained yourself. It means that you have become more mature and polite.”
7. Develop patience. Use various games that develop perseverance and patience. It can be puzzles, board games, building from blocks. In addition to patiently approaching the goal, these games develop insight and imagination.
Fall asleep without tantrums
1. Spend the last hour before going to bed on a peaceful game, moments of intimacy with your family contribute to falling asleep quickly in your own bed.
2. Many children are afraid of the dark , leave soft light from a table lamp in the children’s room at night.
3. Stick to your bedtime rituals. Regular activities – dinner, bath and reading make the child feel safe.
4. If the baby refuses to sleep in his bed, let him choose bedding, he will become more aware of himself and it will be easier for you to convince the baby to sleep in his bed.
Behaviors best ignored
1. Swearing. Children usually do this to get attention. When the child sees that the method does not work, he stops using it. If he swears in a public place, try to distract the little violator, and at home explain that swear words cause pain and shame to those who hear and utter them.
2. Hysteria in a child. Do not count on the fact that during a tantrum the baby will hear and understand you, but do not hope that complete ignoring will have a positive effect. In such a situation, it is better to silently pick up and go to another place where you can calmly hug the baby and wait for the bitter tears to end, this will help to calm down faster than trying to influence persuasion.
3. Thumb sucking. Either biting your nails or twisting your hair around your fingers. Such habits help to relax, if you pay attention to this, a vicious circle will arise.
4. Nervous tics. Blinking of the eyes and involuntary movements of the facial muscles are not controlled. It is better to take the child to a neurologist.
5. Quarrels between peers. As long as the health and safety of children is not in danger, let them resolve the conflict on their own. The child is only learning to live in a social society and your task is to teach communication at home, and not with friends.
Valuable commandments for parents
- Love unconditionally and show your love in every situation. In this way, you strengthen the self-esteem in the little rebel. Expressing parental love is the most effective way to calm a tantrum.
- Respect the child’s opinion, but if you disagree, explain why you think otherwise. Do not abuse the weapon of many parents “no, because no”, these words will not help to calm the baby.
- Understand that emotions are completely natural for all stages of growing up.
- Help in solving the problem, but do not do it without asking. Excessive control can be perceived by the child as evidence that you do not believe in his strength.
Never give up. No matter how sure you are that the child deserves the most severe punishment, do not resort to physical force. Such punishment inspires that the weak can be defeated only by force. Do not teach aggressive behavior.
Tantrums in a child – video