Every year the rigidity of people increases, this is evidenced by the news, situations at work, at school and even kindergarten. Psychologists raise the alarm – physical punishment is unacceptable, because it is in childhood that healthy relationships and the psyche are formed.
According to statistics, in 90% of cases, parents use physical force as an upbringing if they themselves were subjected to it in childhood, and more often this happens in moments of fatigue. The remaining 10% of adults are people with a hidden mental disorder. More than half of the parents at the same time feel guilty, realizing that they have crossed the permissible limit. How does such pedagogy affect the fragile soul of a child? Read below.
The one who is stronger is right
The child says no, but you know better. What experience does the child get? No matter what the kid did or said, he understands that the parent is always right, because bigger, older, stronger, and if there is a dispute, a slap will follow. If you want your child to think that way, keep going. Don’t respect rejection. Because of this, in the future, your son or daughter will use physical punishment, because it remains forever in the subconscious. The child will hit a friend, mother, sister, brother, because he has a different opinion.
Solution of problems
The child grew up, everything went well. Upbringing? Belt, blackmail with love, attention and insults. If you do this from time to time, the child will have a general approach to life – violence solves problems. Not empathy, explanations, expression of emotions, but anger is a remedy for everything. When he grows up and runs into colleagues at work … Then it turns out that no way to change behavior will help.
What is wrong with me? If they love me, why do they beat me, humiliate me, insult me? What I did wrong? Maybe that’s how love is expressed? I don’t deserve it, I’m bad, I’m nobody…
A positive assessment drops sharply, instead of it, destructive self-criticism and aggression towards relatives appear. You can not even dream about achieving goals in the future. Positive thinking is a critical success factor.
Emotions don’t matter
Children do not cry for no reason and they are not always open to communication. Neglecting emotions without trying to find the problem is to increase the conflict. Studies have shown that suppression of emotions leads to developmental delay, if you want this, oppress further.
How does a person who practices physical punishment deserve to be treated? Certainly not love and respect, but rather hatred with distrust. By using a belt, you violate the sense of security, the boundless trust. Situations may arise that the child does not want to talk about, since you are an enemy in his eyes.
Fear of a parent. Isn’t it convenient? The child locks himself in his room because he is afraid and thus releases him from parental duties. However, constant stress restricts blood flow, increases muscle tension, and in some cases leads to chronic disease. In addition, the child loses the ability to adequately respond to various circumstances, for example, he cannot stand up for himself, considering peer attacks as a normal “deserved” phenomenon.
The use of physical punishment is legally prohibited, however, imperceptibly for yourself, you fall a lesson – breaking the law goes unpunished. More than half of the children entering correctional institutions were subjected to frequent punishment with spanking and a belt. They think that humiliating and beating is normal, they were taught and brought up that way.
Why are you screaming all the time?! the mother yells at the child. The answer is obvious.
Why are you hitting your little brother? Why does he think that this is possible?
Deprivation of empathy
Empathy and compassion are dulled, such a thing as emotional intelligence is completely absent, which leads to conflict. Having become an adult, a person does not understand someone else’s grief, cannot find a common language, solve the problem calmly.
Before hitting a child, think about it – do you like doing it? What would you do in his place? If you answered yes to the first question, contact a psychologist.