How to raise a self-confident child – recommendations of a psychologist

A confident child is a happy child. Confidence, a kind of passport for a healthy social and spiritual life, such a person does not allow others to humiliate his personality, he stands up for himself and his best environment, he succeeds faster than others.

Conversely, an insecure child, shy, troubled by shortcomings, will always stand a little lower and a little further. However, for you parents, the good news is that right now, you can mold all the positive qualities of confidence in your baby, because it is you who have a huge impact on this process.

To get started, learn the basics that will help build confidence or keep it from dwindling. After that, we will talk about how to solve the psychological problems arising from insecurity.

Pay attention to abilities

Notice not only the bad, if, for example, your daughter burned potatoes during frying, ask her to wash the pan and praise her for a perfectly completed task, and even for trying to cook dinner on her own. Trust the child to do what he does best and gradually, teach him to do the tasks that are difficult to perform accurately. When obstacles are overcome, self-confidence increases.

Let me make a mistake

As a parent, you can warn your child against mistakes and protect them from danger. However, self-reliance is the part that is closely related to confidence. Let me make a mistake and solve the problem without your intervention. If he needs help, he should ask to contact you or others without coercion.

Show leadership skills

Show your own confidence, stability of character. A personal example is an effective way of education, but do not use force against others through scandals and physical impact – this is no longer a sign of confidence. A simple example, stories about overcoming various situations where the best that a person can have was shown.

Give compliments

Talk about how bright the colors are in the picture, how neatly the letters are drawn in the notebook, explain why today’s five at school can be a great start on the path to a dream. Instead of ordinary words – good and well done.

Learn to make decisions

Insecure children often hide behind their parents, tending to ask adults for confirmation of their actions. In this case, ask him what he would do and let him make a choice on his conclusion. Be careful with advice, they hinder rather than inspire decision making.

Don’t force me to change

Everyone is different, which is great. It’s more interesting to live this way, because even in nutrition the same dishes get bored. Adults rarely change, they can adapt, but the basic character remains the same. Therefore, teach your child not to change, but to respect the opinions of others, adapt to situations, be flexible, remaining himself. Read more about this here .

Insist on Education

Make sure that your children always get knowledge, and not just sit in front of cartoons that do not make sense. We do not argue that there are real works of art from Disney and other companies, but some of them are really better not to look. Teach knowledge from an early age: patiently answer all questions, find answers together, choose activities of interest. Education opens many doors, opportunities, including a high salary and a society worthy of your child.

Believe in ability, support imagination

Annoyed by the fantasies of the child? Very in vain. We live in a world where the impossible becomes reality. How could we have thought twenty years ago that the text from a science fiction book would turn out to be true? Fantasy is the weapon of humanity, let your child dream and strive for the fulfillment of desires. Believe in his strength and ability to fulfill his plans. Who knows what discoveries your child will make.

How to boost your child’s confidence

The solution depends on the specific problem. Consider the most common among the child population – this is clumsiness, shyness, the manifestation of various fears and antisocial behavior.


The problem with the development of motor skills is more often caused by the way of education. For example, a child is not allowed to run and jump at home, and there is simply no one to walk with him for five hours a day on the street. This is observed when the baby is often sick and forced to recover for weeks in a confined space.

The consequences become serious in the primary grades, insecurity is acquired after the remarks of the teacher, due to poor performance in physical education lessons and ridicule from classmates. Additional sports activities, outdoor walks, enrolling in a circle of crafts or embroidery help to correct the situation. However, before proceeding, consult a doctor to make sure there are no health problems.

insecure, shy

An introvert is the norm, but if he constantly hides behind his parents, prefers not to stand out and even not go out, then it is worth considering a solution. Look at yourself in the mirror. If you are behaving in the same way, or if your younger/older brother/sister is behaving in the same way, help correct it from both sides. Don’t let a humble child copy the introversion of other relatives. Encourage independent problem solving, learn to express emotions, and practice social skills by inviting friends over.

Increased anxiety

Chronic pessimist, fear of new experiences, expectation of failure and the requirement not to turn off the light before falling asleep. All of the above is a symptom that requires immediate attention. First of all, the child needs a home base, a place where he is loved and understood. If an indecisive child claims that monsters live in the dark, ask him to draw them and add flowers, a rainbow, a smile and a house where they will now live.

Take all fears seriously, he must feel that you are on his side, otherwise, he will begin to doubt again. Ask him to explain why he is afraid and show your concern by reassuring him with words and hugs.

antisocial behavior

A child who goes against everyone and insists on his own can be annoying, but the more you try to bring him up by force, the more his insecurity grows, and the defiant behavior indicates a lack of attention. Make sure your son or daughter is familiar with a clear system of norms. In addition, try to find the reason for such behavior outside the home, perhaps at school he is forced to protect himself. Then contact the psychologist of the educational institution.

Failed in an attempt to correct a child’s self-doubt? Don’t get discouraged and start over. Cultivating confidence is a serious task that requires boundless parental love and patience.