Setting limits is one of the worst things about parenting, as they build up and force the child to react. The right approach is important here so that setting boundaries shows care and love, and is not regarded as meaningless prohibitions.
Restrictions are not bad, they allow you to keep the child healthy, protect them from negative people and ill-mannered peers. Their main task is to instill discipline and protect from what the child does not yet understand. Many of us grew up where spanking was the only form of parenting. Physical punishment and humiliation solve the problem immediately, but more often than not, it comes back again and again. The child was not explained, not told, but made so that he was afraid of this situation and his own parents.
The best way out of this situation is to apply the timeout method. Regardless of the size of the infraction or transgression, try to ignore the child. Praise good deeds and ignore bad deeds. The method looks simple, however, there are rules that it is advisable to follow:
1. Always start by ignoring and never back down. Talk on the phone, watch TV or read, just do not react to the growing hysteria of the intruder.
2. Before using the method, teach your child to distract themselves from sad thoughts with toys, books, or deep breathing. This action will prevent many hours of hysteria, which puts a huge burden on the child’s body and destroys relationships with parents.
3. The timeout time is not infinite. For a child of one year, three minutes is enough, for each next year, two minutes are added.
4. Specify the reason for the timeout and no more, the child must understand how to correct his mistake.
5. Always accept an apology and don’t criticize your child’s actions. After the timeout, do not threaten consequences, do not remember grievances, do not come up with additional punishment.
If you use this method every time, the inappropriate behavior will start to decrease. In addition, the time-out provides the child with a safe environment, he quickly realizes the causal relationship and tries to prevent the situation from recurring.
A big plus for parents is that they do not have to waste energy on education, in fact, the child himself is “educated” and “corrected”. This does not happen immediately, it takes time, but the method works successfully better than the most sophisticated methods known to pedagogy.