Sociable, helpful, optimistic … These are the qualities that make a child, and then an adult, loved and successful. You can come to these qualities at any age, but it is better to start working on yourself from early childhood so that the right behavior becomes a habit. Thanks to the development of emotional intelligence, this is not so difficult to achieve.
Emotional Intelligence – What is it?
It used to be thought that the development of a high IQ and certain knowledge was enough to achieve success. Today we know that the full set requires emotional intelligence, which consists of:
- self-confidence
- knowing your own strengths and limitations
- willingness to take on a challenge
- the ability to empathize and cooperate.
It is easier for people with high emotional intelligence (EQ, Emotional Intelligence Quotient) to go through life – the social circle is much wider, they are more often invited to cooperate, since they easily resolve conflicts. At school, in the workplace, such people get more sympathy, easily move up the career ladder and fulfill their dreams. Developed emotional intelligence is the ability to communicate with any person, respect the opinions of others and cope with negative qualities.
How to develop emotional intelligence in children
From the age of three, a child should know that he has no right to beat or insult anyone, he will achieve his goal without resorting to physical force. In addition to fists, swear words or tantrums, there are more effective arguments, such as calmness and firmness. Treating others with respect and understanding is what is really needed in any situation. The child learns everything with the help of the environment and, above all, the parents.
Adults must show the child what is good or bad, what can be afforded and not. The rules of acceptable behavior and communication will have to be repeated several times before the baby learns them.
In addition, the rules are learned in the society of peers, but do not demand too much. A child of 2-3 years old is not yet able to share toys and enjoy it, this understanding comes by the age of five, if, of course, the development of this skill is supported.
You are the example, so be consistent. It is not necessary to clearly formulate what is permitted, just behave as you see fit. When a child screams, say – “I can’t hear you, when you scream, speak calmly”, or while waiting – “we are calmly waiting for our turn.” By watching you, the baby will set rules for himself and will follow them.
The day is really good when it starts with the words “good morning” and all the time you hear pleasant “thank you”, “sorry”, “please”. In our high-speed time, politeness is becoming more and more a thing of the past and many are limited to the notorious “hello”. Teach your baby to say the magic words as often as possible – reverence must be revived. The most ruthless grow up children who have problems with self-esteem.
Treat the baby with understanding, appreciate feelings, do not humiliate by word or action. Allow yourself to make decisions on your own (within reason) and do not use physical assault – a child who feels humiliated later offends others.
Evaluate successes and provide comfort after a setback. The development of emotional intelligence is impossible without daily practice, below are the most common situations on the playground and how to resolve them.
Good Behavior Lessons
There are situations that present a real problem of education. Consider several circumstances and solutions.
1. Refuses to share the swing
Once on the playground, clearly state that it is for all children. If the situation still arose, send the crumbs – “you have already ride, now let the girl ride, and then you.” Children who learn to use a swing or bike in turns from a young age easily master the art of compromise.
2. The child does not want to share toys
Is the kid jealous of such an idea and hides his toys from others? Most kids don’t really understand why someone needs to share. Instead of forcing them to change their minds, teach them to share. If you are expecting a little guest, hide your favorite toys and leave only those that the child is ready to offer for playing together.
3. The kid wants to be the center of attention.
It is good that he is ambitious and does not want to sit in the corner, but such behavior can cause problems. Appreciate this character trait, but explain that others also have something to be proud of. If necessary, set the order of speeches: “and now we will listen to Anya.” Some teachers use a different trick – the child with the ball says. The ball is passed in a circle and everyone speaks out.
4. Judgment
The development of a child’s emotional intelligence begins, as you have already read above, with a personal example. Give up the habit of judging people behind their backs. If you want to pay attention to a bad action, say this: “thrown a piece of paper anywhere is a bad deed.” Point out the mistake of a person without affecting his personality.
Sometimes, children say nasty words like “I don’t like you”, “you are dumb/fat/ugly” or questions like “why does aunt have a mustache”. Such statements hurt a person and humiliate. Explain that you can not comment on appearance. If the child wants to ask you something, let him ask the question quietly.
Make it clear that all people are different, and the appearance or their mistakes cannot characterize a person as good or bad. Read fairy tales on this topic, for example, “Beauty and the Beast” or “Donkey Skin”.
In addition, it will be good if you start studying the culture and traditions of different nations together, in-depth knowledge of history will not hurt at all, but on the contrary, it will help you better understand people of other nationalities, which is important for building international relations in the future. Interesting facts about countries and peoples, you will find on our new project just about tourism .
5. The child imposes his opinion
He only plays with those who are ready to obey and insults if a peer does not agree with the rules. Encourage your child to cooperate with others, to be a member of the team, not the leader of the group.
Demonstrate the benefits that come from working together. Tell stories about people joining forces to achieve a common goal. Pay attention to the feelings when his ideas are not interesting to others.
The development of emotional intelligence is a complex and long process. It will take a lot of time and a lot of patience before the young student successfully passes the “exam”.
When you reach the top together, you will immediately notice how the world around you has changed – the right attitude to different situations and the ability to control them make the life of the child and parents much easier.