Children fight: how to make friends with brothers and sisters

It’s good to have a brother or sister. You can swap toys, share secrets and help each other with school assignments… Only, that’s what worries… How to deal with quarrels and why do children fight?

How to make friends with siblings

In order for children not to fight and stop talking to each other, you need to help them overcome the habit of quarreling, for this, try following the tips listed below.

  • The same things. Children usually argue about toys, clothes and candy. To avoid quarrels, buy the same things, such as clothes and toys. The time for individuality will come later.
  • Are the kids fighting? Lead the privileges. If the age difference is more than two years, consider whether they each have their own rights and privileges. Perhaps the older one is upset that the younger one is sleeping in his parents’ bed, in which case remind him that each age has its own advantages. Cartoons, cycling, self-service are available to the elder. When brothers and sisters are aware of their privileges, there is no reason for pointless arguments.
  • Don’t get involved in every argument, even if the kids fight every day. When you hear screams behind the wall, the first thing you want to do is come and reconcile. This is probably the fastest way to resolve the conflict. The only question is, is it the best. Wait a bit if the argument isn’t too dramatic (you don’t hear the sounds of fighting or crying). Why? Preschoolers learn to get out of a conflict situation, and eventually understand the feelings of others. This skill will be useful to them later in life.
  • Learn to negotiate.If children fight often and do not find a way out of this situation, talk to them. Show understanding and name the emotions that are bothering the children: “It looks like you are angry,” and then calmly listen to everyone. Say out loud the source of the problem: “One car and two children. What to do?” Say that you are convinced that they will find a solution that both of them will like, adding: “What do you think?”. Make sure they actually find a way out. Thus, the peace agreement will be their own decision, not yours. After each argument that ended in a fight, talk to both rascals. Preschoolers should know that no one has the right to inflict physical pain on anyone. If one of them fought, ask him to imagine himself in the place of the injured brother or sister. Would he enjoy being pushed or kicked in the side? Explain what this behavior might lead to. Remember, conversation is more important than punishment.
  • If children fight among themselves, do not look for the culprit – they are  just waiting for this. The next time, little troublemakers will enthusiastically rush into another argument in the hope that mom will be on the side of one of them. Refrain from blaming or punishing one child, do not take sides – both are to blame, because no one came to a mutual agreement. Do not say that the elder should be smarter, so you violate his rights. Brothers and sisters of different ages should have equal responsibility for their actions. The younger should not go unpunished. Be patient, you can’t force kids to agree or stop arguing once and for all. After all, it is a way of exchanging one’s own opinions.
  • Find reasons why kids fight. The main factors of the fight are the struggle for leadership and the establishment of the rules of the game. Small children, playing with toys, develop the events of a fictional story, and each of them offers his own opinion about the continuation, as a result of which a quarrel arises and the children fight again. The struggle for leadership is possible at any age. The older child, who already has the experience of being the only and the main one in the family, is especially struggling for this. He also wants to have more rights because of his age. In turn, the younger one tries to copy the older one in everything. Thus, there is a rivalry and, consequently, a quarrel.

Treat brothers and sisters equally so that they do not develop a sense of enmity that can persist for a long time.