For children, there is nothing more tempting than prohibitions, and it doesn’t matter what: chocolates hidden for the holiday or a bully neighbor boy who is not allowed to be friends.
In the end, one way or another, you will see your child with sweets in his hands, next to the boy of “wrong” behavior. Does this mean that it is impossible to influence the issue of friendship with other children? Of course not, parents always influence the choice of their children.
How to identify bad friends
First, let’s figure out who can be classified as “bad friends.” As a rule, the first of them appear in kindergarten – a little more courageous children, ready to take any delicacy from the table without your knowledge, are immediately equated with ill-mannered and undesirable surroundings.
Another example is a child who distracts from classes: he does not understand why a friend has so many clubs, he even persuades your hard worker to skip training and take a walk on the playground or visit an abandoned house with him, where it is not safe.
Do such actions say that this is a really bad friend? Rather, the answer will be negative, since the situation can be corrected by conversation.
It’s a completely different problem when you find out about a thief friend, here you need to explain to your child what such friendship can lead to using examples from real, adult life.
How to prevent bad friends
It is important that the child understands from an early age who to communicate with and why. You may feel tired from endless conversations about what to pay attention to when making friends with different people, however, there is no other way out.
Teach your child to be friends, then he will be 100% able to independently distinguish a good friend from a bad one. A son or daughter should understand what to expect from friendship and what are the norms of behavior. In addition, it is desirable to establish clear rules on where you can play, at what time, why you should not allow guests to use other people’s things or enter other rooms without permission.
When a child understands the norms of behavior as a friend, other actions on the part of others will cause resentment, which means that he will refuse to communicate with such a person.
The example of adults also influences the choice. There may not be many friends, but they are the best, and with others, communication at the level of respect is acceptable.
Listen to the words of the child, a trusting relationship will help prevent many troubles associated with getting into bad company.
What influence do friends and parents have on a child?
Why do “bad” children grow up from good families? Probably many have noticed how completely different people grow up from prosperous families, from which it seems that upbringing does not play any role here. In fact, it all depends on how much attention was paid to, or rather, conversations on a variety of topics.
It is conversations that help educate a person, and not the opinion of neighbors about the family, providing everything necessary and expensive education.
In case of lack of time due to employment, governesses were engaged in education in past centuries, which is also relevant in our time. However, now, for some reason, it is considered wrong to invite a nanny, and finding a “second mother” who is willing to take responsibility for the future is not so easy.
A grandmother can be involved in upbringing, but her opinion often differs from the requests of her parents, which can lead to conflicts. Then the child is left alone and the chance that a friend from a bad company will be with him increases significantly.
This example clearly shows how serious the influence of close relatives is on the formation of personality and opinion. If there are no adults who are able to put “on the true path” nearby, the child will choose a completely different authority, since there is simply no other.
What to do if you have a bad friend
As mentioned earlier, it is necessary to talk to the child. He can continue the friendship, but under certain conditions, for example, a meeting with him will take place only in the presence of adults.
When communication is limited to the time spent at school or kindergarten, it is recommended to analyze the situations that have arisen between children on a daily basis. Questions to help here:
- what would you do in his place;
- why does he say that;
- whether it is worth giving back or responding in kind;
- Do you like this kind of communication/relationship;
- what attracts in this friendship?
A complete ban will not lead to the desired result, as well as a change in class or school. The child must learn from his own experience to communicate with people from different social strata. Only your attention and personal example will help to correct the environment. In difficult situations, it is better to contact a school psychologist.